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  As usual, Neve pulled up a little further down the road from the bus stop. Poppy liked to walk the last twenty or so metres on her own and Neve was happy for her to do so. It gave Poppy the sense of independence and helped her self-esteem. A small act that some children wouldn’t think anything of, but for Poppy, was a big deal.

  ‘I’ll wait in the car,’ said Poppy, shrinking into the seat.

  ‘What’s up?’ asked Neve. ‘You usually can’t wait to get out of the car.’ Neve looked over towards the bus stop. There were half a dozen kids there in the local secondary school uniform. Four boys and two girls. She thought she recognised a couple of the lads. It was hard to tell their exact ages, but one of them was definitely Poppy’s age. Ben Hewitt. She remembered him from primary school days when Poppy had attended mainstream education. The others, although they were familiar in that she had seen them around the village, she wasn’t entirely sure of their names. Neve looked back at Poppy. ‘Do you want me to come over with you?’

  ‘No!’ Poppy practically shouted. ‘No. Don’t.’

  ‘OK. That’s fine. We can just wait in the car a little longer.’ Neve eyed the group of youngsters again. They seemed to have noticed her and Poppy now, looking over towards the car before turning away and laughing amongst themselves. Pretending to check her phone, Neve stole a glance at Poppy who was focused intently on the footwell of the car.

  ‘Can you drive me to school?’ asked Poppy without looking up.

  Neve grimaced. ‘I’m sorry, Pops, I can’t today. I’ve got to meet my friend. Remember?’

  ‘Can’t you meet your friend later?’

  ‘They haven’t got a phone. I won’t be able to let them know.’

  ‘I thought you said you had texted them?’

  Neve gulped down her unease. ‘That was a different friend.’

  ‘You’re lying.’

  ‘Err, excuse me. Who do you think you’re talking to?’

  ‘A liar.’ Poppy grabbed at the door handle and pushed it open.

  ‘Poppy! Wait.’ Neve reached over but Poppy was too quick and was out of the car, slamming the door before Neve could say anything else.

  Neve’s automatic reaction was to jump out of the car and go after Poppy, but she paused, her hand resting on the door handle. Despite the fact that she hated the thought of parting on bad terms, Neve was painfully aware that when Poppy got into one of her moods, no amount of talking would lift her out of it. Poppy needed time to process her anger. Neve was also aware that causing a big scene in front of the other kids probably wouldn’t go down well either.

  Reluctantly she sat back in her seat and acknowledged this fall-out was her own fault for lying to Poppy in the first place, but what choice did she have? Neve watched Poppy approach the bus stop. The other kids turned and standing on the edge of the kerb, followed Poppy’s progress. Poppy kept her head down and huddled into her jacket, tactics Neve knew her daughter used when she felt uncomfortable in certain social situations.

  Ben Hewitt seemed to be holding court and whatever he was saying appeared to highly amuse his friends as they all broke out into laughter. Just as Poppy reached the kerb Ben stepped down in front of her. He was tall for his age and his physique was already showing signs of developing into a man. From where Neve was sitting, his face was smiling and in any other circumstance Neve would assume that his approach was welcomed, but there was definitely something about Poppy that told Neve otherwise. Poppy sidestepped Ben Hewitt who then turned his back on her and returned to his friends.

  Neve relaxed again. They didn’t seem interested in Poppy now. Perhaps they were just saying hello to her after all. Neve checked her watch.

  Shit.

  She was going to be late. When she told Poppy she was meeting a friend this morning, she hadn’t been lying. Neve took another look at Poppy who had settled herself on the bench, away from the other kids.

  Neve switched on the engine ready to go as soon as the St Joseph’s bus turned up. Typically, it was late today. Of all days, when she knew being late could be a problem. She took the decision to slowly turn the car around and head off for her meeting. She looked over in Poppy’s direction, hoping her daughter would look up so Neve could gauge her level of stress. But Poppy looked firmly at her feet. The group of pupils had swelled in numbers now, none of whom seemed in the least bit interested in either Poppy or Neve.

  Neve took one final glance in the rear-view mirror as she steered the car around the corner. Something made her look back a second time. She couldn’t swear to it, but she thought she saw one of the kids walking towards Poppy. Too late, Neve was around the corner and the group were out of sight.

  Perhaps she was over-reacting. Poppy would be all right. The kids weren’t interested in her now their other friends were there. Neve tried to reassure herself as the distance between her and Poppy grew. But no matter how she tried to rationalise it, disturbing thoughts of Ben Hewitt confronting Poppy wouldn’t leave her.

  ‘Sod it,’ she said out loud and pulled the car over to the side of the road, reversing into the opening of a field and wheel-spinning her way out, back towards the centre of the village.

  If she hurried, she would be there before the bus.

  As Neve brought her car around the corner, the bus stop came into view and she could see the group of kids standing around the bench that Poppy had been sitting on. She couldn’t see Poppy. Perhaps the bus had already been.

  But the crowd of youths weren’t standing around in a huddle having a cosy chat. There was something about their stance, menace oozing from the collective.

  Neve accelerated and sped towards the bus stop, screeching to a halt and charging out of the car. She pushed her way through the group of kids.

  ‘Get out of the way,’ she shouted. The burgundy blazers parted like a stage curtain. Only one boy remained oblivious to Neve’s presence. He was standing leaning over Poppy who was huddled on the bench, her school bag pulled close to her, hugging it like a comfort blanket, and her hockey stick grasped in one hand. Poppy was looking down at the ground, but Neve could see streaks of tears on the girl’s face.

  She grabbed the shoulder of Ben Hewitt and spun him round. ‘Get the hell away!’ she growled through clenched teeth, in a voice she barely recognised. Her vocal chords contorting with rage. He was easily as tall as Neve and his broad shoulders seemed at odds with the schoolboy uniform.

  ‘Hey! Don’t touch me,’ exclaimed an indignant and cocky Ben Hewitt. ‘You’re not allowed to do that.’

  ‘I don’t give a stuff what you think. You stay away from her.’ Neve shot back at him. She crouched down and looked up at Poppy. ‘It’s OK now. Come with me.’ She eased Poppy to her feet. ‘You keep away from my daughter.’ She looked Ben Hewitt straight in the eye. ‘Don’t you dare come anywhere near her again. I don’t want you even breathing the same air. Got it?’

  ‘I wasn’t doing anything,’ said Ben, insolence plastered on his face.

  ‘Don’t give me that crap,’ said Neve. She looked round at the other faces of the group. ‘And that goes for all of you too. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Bullies, the lot of you.’

  ‘We weren’t doing anything. We were just asking Poppy about her bag. Weren’t we, Poppy?’ Ben went to touch Poppy’s arm, but Neve was quick and swiped his hand away.

  ‘I told you, stay away from her,’ she snarled.

  ‘Or you’ll do what? Tell my mum? Ooh, I’m scared.’ Ben laughed and looked round at his contemporaries. A few of them sniggered.

  ‘Just keep away, you little shit,’ said Neve. Her temper finally unleashing itself from her hold. ‘Now, get out of the way.’

  ‘Say please.’ Ben folded his arms.

  Neve felt the crowd close ranks. She took a steadying look at Ben and when she spoke, her voice was low but full of controlled power.

  ‘Piss. Off.’ She pushed Ben with her hand and the lad stumbled back.

  ‘Oi!’ he shouted. ‘Like I said, you can’t do that.
That’s assault.’

  ‘What are you going to do? Tell tales to your mum?’ said Neve, and then mimicking the boy. ‘Ooh, I’m scared.’

  This elicited another ripple of laughter from the crowd.

  Ben’s face flushed red. ‘Stuck-up bitch with your half-wit daughter,’ he said.

  Neve stopped in her tracks. She counted to five. Increased the count to ten. God, it was taking all her effort to restrain herself from turning around and smacking that little shit right in the face. She let out a long slow breath. When she spoke, she was amazed at how calm she sounded.

  ‘Come on, Poppy, get in the car.’ Neve opened the door and as Poppy climbed in, Neve took the hockey stick from her, before walking slowly back to the group of youths and coming to a halt in front of Ben Hewitt. Their eyes were level and Neve purposefully stood in his personal space. ‘You, Ben Hewitt, have been warned.’ She lifted the hockey stick and let it fall into the palm of her other hand. ‘Stay the fuck away from my daughter. Got it?’

  Ben Hewitt swallowed. Neve could see the look of uncertainty and surprise on the boy’s face.

  ‘You’re a psycho,’ said Ben, looking down at the hockey stick and taking a step back.

  Neve, sensing she had the upper hand, took a step forward. ‘And you are pushing your luck.’ She gave the hockey stick the slightest of twitches and was satisfied when Ben Hewitt flinched.

  As she walked calmly back to the car, she was aware the other kids were watching her all the way. Hopefully she had made her point.

  ‘You want to watch your back!’ Ben Hewitt’s voice trailed after her. ‘Both of you. Nasty things can happen, even in a quiet little village like this.’

  Neve ignored the jibe. The little prick was just trying to regain some credibility from his cronies. The pinging of her mobile phone took her attention away from the scene and pausing before she got into the car, she saw she had a reply to her earlier message.

  I wondered when you’d contact me. When and where?

  Despite everything and her long-held desire never to have anything to do with Ash again, an undeniable shot of adrenalin raced through her. This must be what it was like for addicts when they weighed up a glass of wine, a line of coke, a betting slip, a cigarette. The rush, even if for just a split second, was always there. Apprehension followed as she sent her reply.

  Old boathouse on the other side of the bridge. Today. 1pm.

  Chapter 6

  Having dropped Poppy at St Joseph’s and spoken to the pastoral care teacher about the incident at the bus stop that morning, Neve drove back to Ambleton. She had tried to talk it through with Poppy in the car, but she had clammed up, refusing to enter into any sort of dialogue. Neve had been reduced to talking into the empty space between them, reinforcing the fact that Poppy could and should speak to an adult she trusted so bullies like Ben Hewitt could be dealt with, with no real gauge of how much Poppy was taking in.

  Neve had been a little sketchy recalling her part of the confrontation. It had all happened so fast, at the time she hadn’t even considered the consequences of her actions. She had seen the proverbial red rag and proceeded to lose it. Neve was pretty sure she had sworn at Ben Hewitt and, at the time, hadn’t even realised she was brandishing a hockey stick. It wasn’t until she had got back in the car she registered it in her hand.

  Now as Neve tried to recall the incident again, the clarity still wouldn’t come. She had a strange sense of feeling removed and watching the argument play out, as if she had been a bystander herself. A feeling she wasn’t so unfamiliar with. It was often a symptom of stressful situations, a coping mechanism, a counsellor had once told her. But then what the hell did that counsellor know?

  She wiped each sweaty palm in turn on the fabric of her dress, as memories of people and places from darker days filled her mind.

  ‘Megan,’ she whispered.

  The sudden sound of the blast of a car horn shook her from her thoughts as she realised she had allowed the car to drift over the white line in the middle of the road. She yanked hard on the steering wheel, swerving the car back to the correct side of the road just in time to avoid a collision with an oncoming vehicle.

  ‘Concentrate!’ she scolded herself. It wasn’t until she was turning into her own driveway that Neve allowed herself to think of what lay ahead of her that day, specifically, her meeting with Ash, or Lee as he was calling himself these days.

  Her stomach gave a small roll of anxiety. His reply showed he was obviously expecting to hear from her at some point. He must have somehow known she was living here but had that been before or after he had started work at The Forum? Had he come here on purpose or had The Forum job been a pure coincidence? Neve wasn’t sure she believed in coincidences.

  She let Willow out into the back garden with promises of a nice walk later and then made herself a cup of tea which she took out onto the patio with a magazine. Maybe she could distract herself?

  It turned out she couldn’t. She read the words but had no idea what they said, unable to concentrate for more than a few seconds before her mind raced back to Lee, her past, and in turn, to Megan. Usually she did a good job of compartmentalising her life, her thoughts and her past, but today she just couldn’t keep those memories under control. And, as always, when she thought of Megan, it hurt in the most brutal way. Whoever said time was a healer was a liar.

  Neve leant back in the chair and closed her eyes, allowing the warm July sun to heat her face. Even today, after all this time, Neve still felt the pain as raw as if it were yesterday. She remembered how she’d felt – so utterly devastated. She remembered how everything that happened that August had changed her life for ever. She missed Megan dreadfully but no matter how much she wished she could go back and change history, she knew she couldn’t.

  The emotional exhaustion of the last twenty-four hours hit Neve without warning. One minute she was resting in the garden chair, the next minute she woke up and realised it was midday and a couple of hours had passed.

  She rubbed her eyes and peered at the clock on her phone and then her wristwatch by way of confirmation. Fortunately, clouds had passed over and she had been saved the indignity of a sunburnt face.

  Twenty minutes later, she had freshened up, repaired her make-up and changed into a fresh white shirt, which she teamed with her skinny jeans and Converse trainers. She looked at herself in the mirror, vainly wondering what Ash would make of her after all this time. Suddenly, it mattered that she looked good. She didn’t want him to think she’d let herself go since moving away. She frowned at her reflection as she tidied up her hair. It annoyed her that she cared. He should be the last person she cared about. The absolute last person in the world.

  ‘Come on, Willow,’ called Neve from the hallway as she took the lead off the peg. ‘Time for that walk.’

  The yellow Labrador skidded across the laminated flooring in anticipation, her whole body wagging with undiluted excitement.

  Neve gave a laugh. ‘You are a silly dog,’ she said, hooking the lead onto the D-ring of the collar. ‘Please try to look a bit fierce and menacing when we get to the river. I need you as my bodyguard.’

  A small footbridge ran parallel to the old stone bridge which crossed the River Amble, a later addition to the landscape after pedestrians complained of near misses with traffic squeezing between the narrow stonework to cross the river. Effectively, the bridge acted as the village boundary, crossing the tidal River Amble which was prone to breaching its banks every so often and flooding the land beyond. Every cloud had its silver-lining Kit had said. The floodplains would never be built on and as a consequence, Ambleton would avoid a ring of modern housing estates like those that had circled other villages in the county. The greedy amongst them, and Neve had to admit that Kit was one of those, were delighted as it pushed property prices up in the village and kept it relatively exclusive. Of course, there was the local council estate, but that was nothing more than twenty houses in a small cul-de-sac where the majority of ho
mes were privately owned these days anyway. Something else Kit declared a bonus.

  Neve reached the other side of the bridge. The old ramshackle boathouse was about fifty metres along the bank to the right and beyond that, around the bend in the river was the small marina where Kit had his office.

  Neve cut across the road and down the stone steps to the riverbank. She paused at the foot of the steps, looking towards the boathouse, and took a steadying breath.

  From around the corner of the wooden building, stepped the man she had hoped she would never have to see again. Despite seeing his picture on Jake’s computer, seeing him in the flesh again was still a shock. She heard herself give a small gasp and she gripped the handrail tighter as a small shot of adrenaline raced through her.

  ‘Hello, Neve,’ he said. ‘Long time no see.’

  His voice was as she remembered, casual, confident, maybe a little deeper, a little huskier. He drew on a cigarette which Neve suspected was the cause of the change. She noticed small creases around his eyes and his mouth, another consequence of smoking. But despite that, he hadn’t really changed, only aged. Neve let go of the handrail and unhooked Willow from her lead, moving away from the steps.

  ‘Hello, Ash,’ she said. ‘Or Lee, as you seem to be going by these days.’

  ‘Busted,’ said Lee, with an apathetic look. ‘Had to leave Ash behind. He caused me a lot of trouble.’

  ‘And Lee, what’s he like?’

  ‘Reformed. Works with young adults. Member of Greenpeace. Loves children and animals. Wants to save the world.’

  ‘Regular Mr Nice Guy,’ said Neve.

  ‘Oh, nothing regular about me, Neve.’

  They eyed each other for a moment, before Neve spoke first. ‘What exactly are you doing here?’

  ‘Working at The Forum. Helping the kids get their lives back on track. Everyone deserves a second chance. Including me.’ He held out his arms and smiled almost as widely. ‘Come on, Neve, give us a hug. I’ve missed you.’

  Neve held up her hands, to try to push him away but he was too strong, and her hands were squashed against his chest as he pulled her in for a bear hug. He kissed the side of her face, for longer than necessary, his whiskers scratching her skin.